How to Help My Dog With Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a difficult for you and for your dog. It could cause them to break out of crates. It could cause them to tear up your house. It could just make it impossible for them to rest when you are away. Separation anxiety often results from a relationship where your dog feels responsible for their own safety. At some point they saw you walk away and did something to make themselves feel better. Maybe they chased you down or maybe they barked in their crate. But most likely, they offered some sort of behavior that got them what they wanted. You either came back to them, let them out of their crate, they broke out of their crate or they just ran next to you and they learned that fear was justified because their actions were successful! The successful behavior justifies the anxiety which then creates stronger behavior as we travel down this self-reinforcing cycle. Separation anxiety is the most common anxiety in dogs, but it looks different in different situations. Common separation anxiety behaviors include:
whining
barking
trying to break out
destroying things
clinging to you
Counterconditioning
A good first step in helping redefine the emotional and physiological response in your dog when they see you leave them is counterconditioning. Counterconditioning is a term that simply means reconditioning a stimulus (you leaving them) with a negative association for your dog to one with a positive association. This takes a strong positive reinforcer like play or a high value treat and a lot of successful repetitions and may not completely rehab your dog’s anxiety, but it is a fantastic way to start. As best you can, you want to keep your dog under threshold (where they begin to freak out) and have a lot of successful repetitions giving them positive rewards every time you leave and then return. Create a little space for a short time and then reward them heavily. Steadily and slowly increase the distance and duration you leave them always heavy rewards.
Don’t reinforce anxiety
If your dog is anxious, you want to do your best to wait for a calmer state of mind before you give them something they want. In other words, if they are going crazy in their crate, don’t let them out until they calm down. Then let them out. If they are being pushy and anxious for food, a toy, or your affection, don’t give it to them. Wait for them to calm down, and then give them what they want. In all times, try to not give them something they want when they are anxious if you can wait for a calmer state of mind to give it. I love giving my dogs table scraps. Often I’ll throw meat on the grill just for them. But I won’t give it to the pushy, begging dog. I will only give the scrumptious morsel to the dog chilling out in a calm state. The calmer state always comes, as fatigue always eventually takes over, but sometimes it takes some time and patience to wait it out. If they are pushy to get to you when you get up to go to the kitchen or the bathroom, shut them out behind you with a gate or a door or have someone in the house hold them on a leash so they can’t get to you because they feel so compelled.
Anxious behavior can’t be successful
Every time your dog acts out of anxiety and what they do is successful from their perspective, it reinforces their anxiety. Every time they try to get out of their crate and actually do, it reinforces their anxiety and then their drive to get out of their crate.
For more advice on crating your anxious dog, check out my crate training blog here.
Every time they bark in their crate and you come to get them, it reinforces their anxiety and their need to bark until you come the next time. Every time they’re nervous about how far away you are and chase you down, it reinforces their anxiety because it got them close to you again. This happens because when what they do is successful, it teaches them that you couldn’t protect them and they had to fix it themself. You need to change the relationship. You need to teach them they can trust you when they’re scared and they don’t have to make it better. At any time if what they do is from fear, you have to interrupt it. You can’t let it work. Every time they run under the bed to hide during thunderstorms or loud noises, ask them to come out and endure the storm with you. Every time they chase you down because you’re not next to them, take them back and have someone hold them with a leash. Teach them that it’s not their responsibility to be next to you and that when you leave, you will come back. They can trust you. You have to teach them that doing what you ask actually protects them and not what they feel they need to do themselves.
Obedience training is a great way to begin to interrupt this self-reinforcing cycle of anxiety and anxious behavior. You can use commands to build that trust that listening to you keeps them safe. I would begin training as soon as possible.
Recommended Packages
ESSENTIAL $500:
Includes 3 30-60 minute private lessons at a park in Elkton, VA or Penn Laird, VA (appointments subject to weather)
Includes Herm-Sprenger prong collar and long training leash
Teaches how to improve your relationship with your dog through play
Teaches leash manners, “out”, and “place” or “come”
Teaches how to play and set parameters for inappropriate behavior
Can cater to specific issues
For dogs at least 5 months old
COMPLETE $850:
Includes everything in Essential package plus 3 additional 30-60 minute private lessons for a total of 6 lessons and electric collar (appointments subject to weather)
Includes remote electric collar
Teaches fundamentals of play and how to use play to develop your bond and communication with your dog
Teaches leash manners, “out”, “come”, “sit”, “place”, “down”, and “heel”
We will proof commands for distance and duration
Will cater to any specific issues with your dog
For dogs at least 4 months old
ROCKSTAR $1100:
Includes everything in the Complete package plus 2 additional 30-60 minute lessons in Elkton for a total of 8 lessons (appointments subject to weather).
2 additional private lessons can be used for teaching additional advanced commands to really bring out the rockstar in your dog! Advance commands can include your choice from extended distance sit and down, come to the heel position, send aways to place, stand, front, maintain eye contact, or feel free to ask about something else!
For dogs at least 4 months old
ANXIETY & AGGRESSION $1100:
Includes everything in the Complete package plus 2 additional lessons in Elkton for a total of 8 lessons (appointments subject to weather).
2 additional lessons will be used to work specifically around the sources of the anxiety and aggression where applicable.
Focus on building confidence and trust
For dogs at least 5 months old
*Military, First Responder, and Multiple Dog discounts can be applied!!
ESSENTIAL $800:
Includes 3 30-60 minute lessons conveniently in your home
Teaches how to improve your relationship with your dog through play
Teaches leash manners, “out”, and “place” or “come”
Teaches play and how to set parameters for inappropriate behavior
We will proof commands for distance and duration
Includes Herm-Sprenger prong collar and long training leash
Allows us to address specific issues in your environment
For dogs at least 5 months old
Includes everything within an hour of Massanutten, though further distances are able to be accommodated for a small surcharge.
COMPLETE $1550:
Includes everything in Essential package plus 3 additional 30-60 minute in-home lessons for a total of 6 lessons and electric collar
Includes remote electric collar
Teaches fundamentals of play and how to use play to develop the communication and bond with your dog
Teaches “out”, “place”, “come”, “down”, and “heel”
We will proof commands for distance and duration
Will cater to any specific issues with your dog
For dogs at least 4 months old
Includes everything within an hour of Massanutten, though further distances are able to be accommodated for a small surcharge.
ROCKSTAR $1800:
Includes everything in the Complete plus 2 additional 30-60 minute lessons for a total of 8 lessons
2 additional lessons can be used for advanced commands and specific issues anxiety or aggression. Advance commands can include your choice from extended distance sit and down, come to the heel position, send aways to place, stand, front, maintain eye contact, or feel free to ask about something else!
For dogs at least 4 months old
Includes everything within an hour of Massanutten, though further distances are able to be accommodated for a small surcharge.
ANXIETY & AGGRESSION $1800:
Includes everything in the Complete plus 2 additional lessons for a total of 8 lessons
Lessons will be used with an emphasis on building confidence and reliability around the source of the aggression or the anxiety where applicable.
For dogs at least 5 months old
Includes everything within an hour of Massanutten, though further distances are able to be accommodated for a small surcharge
*Military, First Responder, and Multiple Dog discounts can be applied!!
This package is designed for dogs with anxiety in certain situations, reactivity towards people or dogs, some mild to moderate aggression, and adult dogs who need more time developing confidence and practicing good habits around a diversity of distractions. The additional weeks will be used to further guide the genetic and emotional drives to appropriate and fulfilling places as well as develop a stronger and more profound relationship with your pup. Emotions and genetics matter a lot especially in anxiety and aggression. 5 weeks gives us more time to focus on those components of your problem issues. It is possible to teach your dog through stress and coercion, but if we can help build trust and motivation through play, they will be much more excited to learn and maintain what they learn. Motivation is far more important to learning than repetition.
Play is the highest form of social interaction with your pup and the highest form of reinforcement when the dog understands how to play. We will attempt to develop it as the primary positive reinforcer, but also as the means to communicate boundaries and develop a trusting relationship to help guide your pup through their issues. It is impossible to fully suppress behaviors reinforced by your dog’s individual genetics. If they are genetically inclined to bite or chase, we cannot keep them from biting or chasing forever. It will always eventually pop up in the places we don’t want, because it’s who they are, and suppressing who they are creates anxiety. However, if we use our time to develop outlets for those behaviors by biting tugs or chasing balls through play, then we have a significant chance to be successful at telling them they can’t bite people or chase cars, etc for the long term. We will also use our time to create more embedded patterns and habits of the more acceptable behaviors and states of mind so that they translate to your home more readily.
Your dog lives with a trainer at their house for 5 weeks!
Can include electronic collar from E-Collar Technologies and Herm-Sprenger prong collar for off leash and on leash reliability
Can include commands of “out”, “come”, “sit”, “place”, “heel”," “down”, leash manners and door manners
Will develop the fundamentals and rules of fetch and tug within the time allowance
Can proof commands for high distraction, long distances, and long duration holding commands until released
Commands will be proofed off leash where applicable
Can spend additional time proofing for higher distractions
Can spend additional time working around sources of anxiety with a focus on increasing confidence
Can spend additional time working on specific issues like resource guarding
Can spend additional time getting multiple dogs accustomed to working with each other
Slower and easier introduction to the commands
Can cater training to any specific issues with your dog
Updates every single day
2-4 hour in-home turnover (within 2 hours of Massanutten) to make sure you know how to maintain the training and develop your new relationship with your dog!
Lifetime refresher lessons at the park in Massanutten should you need any help transitioning the dog home or even if you let things slip a little
50% discount on a consultation for help getting started before Board and Train start date.
For dogs at least 4 months old
Rushed scheduling is available for a 30% surcharge.
*Military, First Responder, and Multiple Dog discounts can be applied!!
*All Board and Train purchases must be paid and full and have returned signed contracts before scheduling.
This package is best for dogs with more advanced anxiety or aggression issues, but is still a fantastic solution for most dogs! Where no training option is magic and there will be work to do with you and your environment no matter how long they train, this option allows for fuller immersion in training structures, fuller development of play, emotional associations, and communication, and the more normalization of good behavioral and emotional habits make that transition home much easier. You cannot rehabilitate aggression or anxiety issues by just focusing on behavior. This package gives more time to focus on the emotional and genetic contributors to the issues your having to set you up for long-term success and your dog up for success and self-confidence.
You couldn’t rush a relationship with your dog and neither can your trainer. The more time we have to develop our mutual trust and communication, the better learning environment we can create for your pup and the more durable the training will become. You can teach commands through stress and you can bribe with food, but neither of these options develop the mutual trust, respect, and communication that time and play can develop. Play satisfies your dog on a genetic level and gives them purpose in life. How awesome would it be for you to be the provider of that fulfillment? You can certainly use coercion to make yourself relevant to your dog when they are distracted, anxious, or aggressive, but mostly this masks the behavioral in the short term when the genetic and emotional underpinnings aren’t addressed. A large reason why behavioral issues develop is because your dog doesn’t have outlets for the things that make them who they are (chasing, biting, herding, barking, etc.) and don’t know how now to have that fulfilling relationship with you. Your dog is an incredibly social animal. If you aren’t providing the genetic or social fulfillment to your dog, they will look for it elsewhere and live a less confident life. This training option is designed to more fully develop the concepts of play so your dog can find that fulfillment they need, set up a very motivational and successful learning environment ant relationship, and then use that play and that relationship to create the boundaries and communication we need to help them navigate their issues and find long-term success.
Your dog lives with a trainer at their house for 8 weeks!
Immersion into normal life with new and better habits
Will develop the fundamentals and rules of fetch and tug within the time allowance
Healthy dog and human socialization
Fuller integration of commands with normal life
Can include electronic collar from E-Collar Technologies and Herm-Sprenger prong collar for off leash and on leash reliability!
Can include commands of “out”, “come”, “sit”, “place”, “heel”," “down”, leash manners and door manners, proofing for high distraction, long distances, and long duration holding commands until released
Commands will be proofed off leash where applicable
Can address and build confidence regarding any anxiety or aggressive behavior
Can solidify good habits regarding specific issues
Can integrate dogs from the same home together in training as well as normal life
Can spend time developing tracking or detection
Updates every single day
2-4 hour in-home turnover (within 2 hours of Massanutten) to make sure you know how to maintain the training and develop your new relationship with your dog!
Lifetime refresher lessons at the park in Massanutten should you need any help transitioning the dog home or even if you let things slip a little
50% discount on a consultation for help getting started before Board and Train start date.
For dogs at least 4 months old
Rushed scheduling is available for a 30% surcharge.
*Military, First Responder, and Multiple Dog discounts can be applied!!
*All Board and Train purchases must be paid and full and have returned signed contracts before scheduling.